I've really fallen away from my blog lately. I think there are many reasons, but the biggest one is the reason I want to focus on today.
I first discovered this hobby in 1999. I was hooked from the start. Like most, I've gone through patches where I wasn't as invested and other times where I've been downright obsessed. When I rediscovered the online scrapbooking community in late 2011, my obsession took to new heights! I quickly learned the manufacturer of 99% of products just by glancing at them..."oh, that's definitely an October Afternoon paper...those enamel dots are without a doubt MME...I love those Studio Calico cork stickers..." and so on. I feasted on blogs, online videos, and scrapbook forums. Most of you can probably relate.
I decided soon after getting involved in the online community - Two Peas, Studio Calico, Pinterest, blogs, etc - that I wanted to start trying to get published and to work on design teams. While I'm on a great design team right now, there have been many others that I've applied to and been rejected (for lack of a better word) for. Despite over a year of submitting to various publications, I've never once had anything picked up. And frankly, it made me angry. And worse, it made me doubt myself and made me begin to resent this hobby.
I am not a big name scrapper by any stretch of the imagination and there are many big names out there that have more talent in their pinky fingers than I have in my entire being! And those that may be lacking in talent, tend to make up for it in charisma. I lost sight of what this craft was in my pursuit of greatness! I lost sight of the creative outlet this has always been for me...I lost sight of the fun I have doing it...I lost sight of the fact that I'm perserving these memories, if not for my future children (if I ever have any at this point!) or my niece, then for myself. I've cared far too much what other people think of my creations and what things are trendy or current or "cool". I've worried too much about fitting in and being admired. And honestly, I've spent a fortune the past couple of years trying to keep up.
I mean, really, it's so silly. This is just a hobby. An amazing and fun one, if you ask me, but all the same, it's just a hobby. Our work is never going to be hung in famous galleries in NYC or shown on the runways in Paris...so, it's time to start scrapping for me again. Because I love it.
That said, I am going to do my best to start posting regularly again. I want to post things that I find interesting or enjoyable. I want to pick back up with series I started and let taper off. I even had a few big things in the works and was putting so much pressure on myself to be perfect, that I let that all fall to the wayside too.
Anyway, I just felt a real need to speak my piece on these things. Maybe there is someone out there thinking and feeling the same way.
Thanks for reading.